So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
