sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
