pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
