Hey man sorry I got all grabby
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize