Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize