her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
