New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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