Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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