My friends, they love my intelligence
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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