She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
