Kiss
Puke
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
