Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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