the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
