I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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