I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Randomize
