I bet he comes in French.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
