ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
