I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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