Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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