No subtext here. People are naked.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
