Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
