Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
