Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
