I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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