I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Randomize
