There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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