can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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