quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
