i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize