i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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