Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
