so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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