Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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