He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Houston, we have a blender
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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