so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
