i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Randomize
