i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Well I just put wine in my tea
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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