Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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