You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
