i need an iv and a liver transplant
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
