Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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