So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I will be naked everywhere
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
