She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
