I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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