dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
It was confusing and full of hummus
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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