do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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