Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
