think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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