im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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