I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
