"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize