they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
