so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
