If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
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