I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I think my moral compass just broke
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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