It's just like the Real World with babies
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
