You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
