hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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